Introduction:
I was born in the town of CLUJ the main town in Transylvania on April 13 th 1924th
I lived together with my mom, my little sister Olga, Olga and my dad's dad untill I was seven and a half years old. I knew Olga and I shared the same mother but not the same father. When I was seven and a half, mom brought` me to my aunt and uncle Haya Lyev in the town ofNasaud
The Story
In the month of March 1944 the Germans conquered all of Hungary
The task of getting the list of all the Jews in our town what givenName to an office of a Romanian lawyer. His secretary what Otto's niece, the daughter of Lyev's sister. Her name what Olga. The leaders of the community gave her the task of collecting the list of names, and she asked for my help. Therewere two synagogues in town And They Had lists of names, but Those Were not updated. Ran thus, what we Had to do something to go from one home to another and write down all the names with dates of birth. We did job completed within a week and Olga typed it in two copies and gave it to the leaders of our community who gave it to the Hungarian Fascist leader.
In nasaud, our town, therewere 525 Jews of all ages. Meanwhile, there was a rumor thatthey want to transfer all the Jews to working farms,: because most of the farmers Became soldiers, so did agriculture crops will not go bad. The elderly leaders of our community thought it made sense. Uncle Lyev was very sad by this rumor, as, for more than half a year he Suffered from pain in his left leg, so much so he did lately Had to use a walking stick. I told him not to be worried, for I was as strong as on ox and I could do the work for Both of Us. I really did what strong back then. Aunt Haya therefore told him not to worry, as she is very strong. Those rumors got to the villages next to us. Uncle Lyev had a shoe store, Which made shoes by order. He Had three shoe-makers who worked for him. I was the one who did the stitches and there what an apprentice, a young Romanian one by the name of Litche, who what the son of a farmer from a nearby village by the name of Dumitru, ( who what friends with uncle Lyev from childhood ).
One night, at two AM, our dog started barking like mad. I went out to our balcony and to my surprise I saw Dumitru was there. Meanwhile, Lyev uncle arrived and told him Dumitru words I will never forget: "Lyev my brother, know thatthey are taking you to be exterminated so do not believe the rumor for it is a lie. I am here with a big wagon of hay
and two horses. The hay is just a camouflage and you all can hide inside. Leave this place while you can shut. You can all fit in the wagon and come to me. . I have a hiding place ready for you And They'll never find you " . Meanwhile, the rest of the family Gathered around and heard what what Said Uncle Lyev embraced Dumitru powerfully for a long moment and then my uncle told him: "If did is the fate of all the Jews, this will be our fate as well "To did Dumirtu said:." At least let Victor come with me "Uncle Lyev turned to me and told me to get dressed and go in second did.. a loud yell came out of my throat: "NO !!! Only with you" and I fell into his arms Without another word, Dumitru turned around and left..
When Dumitru told us about the truth about the German's intentions, we started doubting the rumor. The day after, uncle Lyev asked one of the Germans in our home What They are planning for us, but the German Said he did not know. He bequeaths something from the (the regular army) not from the SS.
A few days later, we received a Noticed from the Hungarian headquarters in this language: "All Jews, big and small will prepare a small package with only Necessary things, cloths to wear, hygiene and medicine, shoes, a coat and identification papers. They want to be Gathered in the two synagogues under military watch Until Further decision ".
We then Gathered the belongings we deemed be necessary. Shantsi Took The ring she got from aunt Haya for her twentieth birthday and buried it in the wood warehouse. I brought` my puppy dog to one of the neighbors down our street and asked her to take care of him until i'm back. With tears in her eyes, she did swore she would take care of him as if it what her baby.
We were givenName two days from When We received notice of evacuation and did Until we were forced into our synagogues. During Those two days, uncle Lyev went to all the people who owed him money and asked for it, and what able to collect all the money owed to him.
I had three close friends from Romanian When I went to the Gymnasia (ie, high school) and we Studied together many times in Their homes. Their dads where friends with uncle Lyev, and They Came to uncle Lyev and gave him large Amounts of money and Said it was a loan for harsh times And They trust he will return it When He can. That night I opened the stitches in my boots and uncle Lyev and I hid the money inside my boots. The amount of money we hid what there worth the Entire content of our shoe-store and the workshop.
The concentration of all Jews in the two synagogues was terrible. It is hard to describe the suffering, the horror, the crowding, endless cry of babies and small children and yells of anguished mothers. In the corners, groups of ten men Gathered trying to form Minions praying to God. But this time, instead of the traditional four questions of Passover, the question was: "What have we sinned to deserve this?" The worst of all what the continuous line to the bathrooms. A few hours after we came in, there already what a horrible stench inside. Some werewolf windows opened and the cold air coming in gave us fresh breath. For two days we were inside this light and in the third morning came the order to gather our things and go out to the main street. There, we saw a long line of wagons with horses waiting for us. Soldiers Shouted and pushed us Onto the wagons. Those of us who were young helped the elderly go on the wagons before we did and the convoy started moving. Aunt Haya embraced uncle kept telling him Lyev and words of encouragement; the same woman who for so many years what introvert and what suffering from schizophrenic fear, Became strong and whipping her husband's tears. Shantsi set quietly, starring at nowhere. The streets werewolf empty of anyone else. We only saw a few dogs And They as well were very quiet, as if They sensed the tragedy.
Our destination was a mountain, not very big, a few kilometers from Which what a town called Bistritsa, Which what the capitol of the county. On top of that mountain was a huge flat square did what now fenced with barbwire. In the middle was a gate and a watch tower with guards on on each corner. This place got the name of "ghetto Bistritsa". Later it did what every Known capitol town of a county created seeking a place. We came off the wagons and Gathered Where They told us to wait. More and more Jews kept coming from all over the area. We passed the night under some trees and aunt Haya Leaned on one tree and her daughter slept on her. On a tree near by, Lyev uncle and I set to rest. He had a sarcastic smile on his face, filled with pain. He pointed at my boots and said: "In Those boots I have the Entire savings of my working life". He hugged me crying and kept saying the same sentence over and over again.
The next day, early in the morning, a few soldiers Gathered a dozen of us younger males and Took us on a few wagons back to our town to gather plywood from the property of Nutsbecher, who what the richest Jew in town. We downloaded the plywood on the wagons and went back to the ghetto three times without a break. We almost died from exhaustion. The next morning we started building some structures with the plywood. We had a Jewish guy with us who knew how to build with plywood and we worked hard to build some shelter. Inside Each structure did what shaped like an upside down V, went twenty families - about two meters of space To each family. In the middle there what space to come in and out. We continued the building work until there was no more plywood. After all the captured Jews where in Those structures, the ghetto leadership started forming. The leader of the Ghetto what the leader from Bistritsa and Each town Had its own leader under him. Then They Formed committees for different needs, seeking as: hygiene, health, education and security. In one corner of the ghetto They put water taps and two shacks for bathrooms. Before we went into the ghetto, I remember hearing French. I Recognized the doctor who put in charge of health They as a man from the group who spoke French. I went to him and asked him to have me join his team. He was very tall with broad shoulders and curly blond hair, very handsome. He Looked me up and down and Agreed. When he completed forming his team, he asked why I asked him to join his team. I told him I heard him speaking French and I thought it would be a good chance to practice my French. He liked my answer and We Became closer. His name what Dr. Helberg. Later on, this friendship saved my life. He Arranged on the for each one of us to have a badge with the Red Cross on our arm. He Formed four shifts of six hours each. In our shift, We had to go around the ghetto and report any trouble we saw, and believe me, therewere many. Aunt Haya came to life in this ghetto, the same as what she When I first met her at the age of seven and a half - full of energy and active. She Took Her daughter everywhere what needed help, and there was a lot of need for help. She specialized in Treating the young kids and Calms them down. So much so, did Dr. Helberg got her into his team to work with the younger kids.
I remember having intimate talks with uncle Lyev When We Had free time.
One night he pointed at my boots again and Said hey hey not sure what would be the givenName chance to utilize the potential did what hidden there but maybe I will, and then he started crying. The same one who was so powerful and optimistic, who overcame so many challenges, what now Reduced to having no hope. I sat next to him quietly, we Looked at the clear skies, the moon and the starts and us ... we lost any sense of hope.
Sometimes I would see Shantsi sitting in the dark crying. I would come, sit next to her, hug her and we would sit quietly for a long time.
During time did I had only one close friend, his name what Shaul, but people called him Sholi, and I called him "Jol". His job what to patrol along the fences with another guy from security. I was able to walk with him while he what patrolling only falling on my "off" time. We would reminisce how in our home town we sat under the window of a Hungarian photographer and listen to the BBC news. If only we could do this now, Perhaps we would have known what what coming. He told me did Hani broke her relationship with Shimi and is very sorry she disappointed me. I smiled and told him 'that' in the situation we are in, Those childish issues lost Their innocence and are not important anymore. He Agreed with me. Other than meeting with him, I lost my need to visit with any of my other friends and would spend all of my free time with my family. I sensed did uncle Liyev needed my presence.
The next thing is difficult for me to talk about, but I feel the need to do so Nevertheless: One night I Took Shantsi to a quiet corner and we made love wildly Until We collapsed. The morning after we were a little less depressed. We did not talk about it, but we both knew it was a wild instinct did drove us to do this and I have not seen her cry after that.
Meanwhile, the rumors about taking us to work in the big farms started again. At the end of the second week of our stay in the "ghetto", half of the population there what told to start packing and get ready for the walk. In the morning theywere marched to the railway about four kilometers from the "ghetto". No one knew the destination. A few days later we received postcards with different handwriting but the same message: "we arrived safely. The work is hard and plenty, but we are OK and have everything we need ". On the bottom of Those postcards werewolf awkward signatures without the sender's address. This Strengthened the rumor about the farming work.
One morning, two weeks later, at the end of April, a platoon of soldiers arrived with a command did in two days the Entire "ghetto" should be cleaned and vanished: because in the third morning, we are all leaving as well. All the men went right to work and did same night by the place was cleaned For their satisfaction. In the extra free day did We had,: because we did the job so Quickly, we (the youngsters) got together and Talked about the good old times, but soon after we all went back to our families.
At nightfall we Gathered together, a few families did werewolf friends before, in hope of getting to the same place. Early the Following morning, shouting and swearing, the soldiers rushed us to get going. The little children were so confused, But They did not make a sound. In a slow, quiet walk we arrived to tow hours later the railroad. A train waiting for us what with cars Used for animals. A terrible nightmare Has started! The doors of the cars werewolf at the height of a grown man's shoulders, added to, dass die incline of the railroad, so getting on train did Became of acrobatic operation. To the healthy grown ups and us, the young ones, what it not a problem, but the old people and the heavy women, like aunt Haya, simply could not get up. It got terribly crowded and Shouted the soldiers, cursed and pushed. Four of us strong ones jumped down and lifted everyone who simply could not get on the train by Themselves. The difficulty with which the fat and heavy women like aunt Haya and Hany's mom and it Took longer. And the soldiers werewolf pushing, cursing and beating at the back. It took more than tow hours Until everyone werewolf inside the train cars. Sixty people in a wagon, thirty half in each. The space in between one door and the door opposite to it Remained free for the two armed soldiers. The doors closed from the outside and the train started moving. In every half of the wagon, in one of the corners, we Arranged a toilet with two blankets and finally We could breathe, sigh and try to rest. Somewere sitting, some lying and some standing leaning against the wall of the wagon. Finally, I do not know how, we were all lying and sleeping. We traveled all night long. Early the Following morning the train stopped and we woke up, happily welcoming the sunlight coming through the window bars. Therewere four of Those little windows in Each car. The door opened, the guards Replaced And They allowed a few of the young ones to get off the train with buckets and get some water. Under Their watch, So They let them go to the kiosk and buy cigarettes. The break went on for about half hour to and then we moved on with the train. Toward nightfall, we stopped again, this time in a bigger place, the water pump what closer to the platform and there were a lot of people there. I heard one of them telling his friend: "These people are being Transported far away from here, who knows where?" Where are they taking us? I asked myself. From the way They crowded us in Those wagons I Gathered what it not for agriculture work. I Convinced what everybody thought the same as me. When I was back with two buckets of water, I felt a pain in my right shoulder, probably from a hit I received from one of the soldiers. I told it to Shantzi and Hany's mom heard and said she had a good cream. She gave me a massage and it helped. The stuff I heard outside I did not share anyone.
It was already dark When we started traveling again. I asked one of the guards permission to take off the net of one of the windows so more light Could come inside and he Agreed. I got on a small suitcase, Took off the net and stayed there, looking at the view in the moonlight.
I did not see the view! I saw dear faces flashing in front of my eyes in a slow parade: mummy crying over the death of her husband in Ukraine, Olga crying over the death of her father, Zaydi with a smoking pipe in his mouth and pray a book in his hands , Bobbi with a cigarette in between his lips, dear Otto - my true teacher and educator, the dog wagging his tail and so on. At the end of this slow parade came the image of Dumitru, this dear farmer who what willing to risk his own life to save ours. My eyes filled with tears and in my mind there which only one question: when will I see them again?
The next day, at noon, we stopped at a big station full of people, Gathered by groups. The guards Exchanged and the door of the wagon opened to its' full width. The fresh air and the sun light almost blinded us after a long search drive in a close wagon. One of the guards said that we would park there for a few hours Until the roads are opened. He allowed us to get off the train two by two, to stretch our legs a little, did knowingly if anyone tries to escape two other people would be shot dead. We did swore no one would try to escape. I helped uncle Lyev down and we walked slowly along the train. Among all the people, in a distance, we saw a small group of people with a yellow ribbon on Their left sleeve. Theywere Jews from the work troops of the Hungarian army. Suddenly Uncle Lyev Stood amazed, as he Recognized a man from our town. It was not just any one, but a relative distance. Hey what the husband of his cousin's daughter. He was a specialist with trees, a forester, and that's why we only met him seldom. I did not know him at all. We went back to the train,: because we went a little far, and on the way back, Lyev uncle called him by his name. He heard him, and saw Recognized uncle Lyev, and came slowly and cautiously towards us. We got back on the train and uncle Lyev told me to unravel the stitches Quickly in my shoes and give him the bills. He Quickly wrapped everything in a handkerchief and we went back off the train and walked around again. When we got closer to the man, uncle Lyev threw the handkerchief to him. He grasped it and put it in his Quickly inner pocket, telling us in the processthat we are being Transferred toAuschwitz , And then he left quickly. Only then I asked why he gave him uncle Lyev all the money. He said that with him the money is safer, did he's an honest and reliable man and therefore a relative, and When We did get back he will give it back to us. He did not mention the word "Auschwitz ". We went back to the train, I helped aunt Haya down and together with Shantzi They went for a walk as well. Only towards evening we went back on the road. At the Following stop the guards changed again. But the new guards werewolf not Hungarian. .According to Their uniform uncle Lyev Recognized did theywere Polish. Another Jew on the train, who knew Czech, asked them where theywere taking us. The guard answered rudely did When We'll get there we would know. After a long drive of many hours, the next stop what early morning When it was quiet dark. We were yet to find out thatthis is the final stop, the most tragic stop of my life.
The door of the wagon opened and, to a faded light of distanced flashlights, along came German soldiers, ordering us down and yelling "Go ... Go." I did not understand the shouts but I jumped right down and helped aunt Haya first and then uncle Lyev. So did the other young ones among us and very soon all the wagons werewolf empty. On the platform therewere families, holding hands. We were all frightened, quietly waiting for the unknown. It was absolute silence and at the blackness of the morning dawn we all felt did the unknown will become a terrifying reality Quickly. That the horrors of the Hungarians werewolf only the introduction to what the Germans are about to do to us. After a short while the men among us werewolf ordered, with shouts of "Los ... Los" to pass across another line of tracks and hide on a wide, long sidewalk. The women and children stayed beside the empty train. The sky began to clear with the first sunlight. In the distance we saw in a blur, long sheds. To our right, farther away, we saw a pole of smoke rising up. This grotesque, miserable sight around us Reminded me the hell chapter on Dante's' book. All of our eyes werewolf turned to the women and children, Which were so terrified did all They did what waving Their hands around. We received in order to slowly start walking. That was the last time I saw my dear aunt Haya and Shantzi !!
The walk was very slow. Uncle Lyev and I, right behind him, werewolf in the middle of the line. Along the sidewalk, far away from one another, therewere electric poles. At the end of the sidewalk there was a well-lighted concrete surface. On it there was a long table and three Germans officers werewolf sited behind it. At the end of the table Stood at officer with glasses, looking at Each one of us as we Approached, telling us to go left or right. After ten minutes of walking Lyev Suddenly uncle put me in front of him and Said he must lean on me: because his left leg hurts badly. And that's how ... (9). My turn arrived and I was signed to go right. I wanted to wait for uncle Lyev but the soldiers pushed me ahead. I managed to turn my head back for a second and saw uncle Lyev being pushed to the left, and then I lost sight of him. It was the last time I saw uncle Lyev, and it only what his back. In a few hours I lost dear aunt Haya, uncle Lyev and Shantzi, who raised me with so much love.
That is how I learned of Auschwitz ,
The guards rushed us inside. In the dawn light, a few of us boys from our group werewolf able to gather together, Choly, Gidi, Yoel and his little brother Shimi, fat Lazar and a few others.
We were divided into groups of thirty people. As a group we went in a square shed and werewolf ordered to undress. The clothes werewolf immediately Extended picked up and only the shoes and belts werewolf left. They shaved us all over. It was quick and quite painful. We went into a big washing-hall with three lines of taps in the ceiling. At the entrance therewere buckets with soft soap and everyone grabbed a handful. After we washed we took our shoes and belts and went into another hall. There we received a jacket and pants with light and dark gray, vertical stripes on them. For our heads we received a barrette with the same colors. On the left, upper pocket of the shirt and on the left side of the pants, about20 centimeters above the knee, we had a yellow stripe. When Choly and I saw eachother with our new uniform and with tears in our eyes, we burst into a wild laughter, a kind of distortion of the mouth with loud noises and fragmented Widely opened eyes, full of fear and panic. Only now we started to realize what a terrifying situation we are in. Choly whispered something I did not understand, but I guessed it was a prayer. I heard similar mumblings from the others as well. From this hall we went out to a very big yard and Waited. When everybody what through with this bright, almost 2,000 people, we went to the other side of the yard. On a long table therewere bowls. Each one of us Took a bowl and spoon got to aluminum. We proceeded to a line of tall, narrow barrels and received a dark and hot liquid, Which got the name "soup". We were told to return the bowl and keep the spoon, and not to loose it: because there is no replacement. It was already noon and we had two hours to rest. We set on the ground, drank the soup and most of us fell asleep sitting down. We were woken to the shouts of "Los ... Los". By then I learned thatthey Meant "almost ... almost". We were ordered with shouts to arrange in groups of five. A very long line of quintets which Formed and I thought did now theywill lead us to the long blocks I saw in the morning darkness. But no! Something worse started. It was a drill Meant to discipline us, to turn us into robots. To the order "Mize up" - barrette down, we took our barrettes off, and to the order "of Mize" - Barrette up, we put it back on. For a few hours all that did what we did - took our barrettes off and put it back on, with five minutes breaks. The commanders switched every hour. At five o'clock, was there to "Apel", a formation. We had to give attention and the soldiers counted everybody in the extermination camp at the sametime. After a short break we got three pieces of bread, a slice of margarine and a cup of dark, hot liquid - coffee. Then the werewolf mugs taken from us and we were lad to two long blocks. Inside therewere long lines of three levels bunk- beds. I immediately Extended climbed into the highest level, covered myself with the blanket and fell asleep right. Before dawn we were woken up by long shouts of "Los ... Los" and werewolf pushed outside to a long line of taps. Only now I Realized I was smart not to take my shoes off when i climbed into bed. In the morning there was a terrible darkness chaos When Everybody werewolf trying to find Their Shoes, with the soldiers yelling and pushing. We were givenName a cup of coffee again, at noon we got the same soup and in the evening we got three slices of bread and a slice of cold cut. After three days we were Transferred fromAuschwitz to Birchenau. There we had the same "hospitality" and the same drills. Only before noon, after the soup, we were free Until the "Apel" and at eight pm the lights werewolf out. I spent many hours of painful and angry thoughts. I was mad at myself and at my stupidity I did what not thinking straight. Otto raised me for that. I was hoping did the false rumors true werewolf and did we are being taken to work in the fields. I was mad and accused myself for not convincing Firmly uncle Lyev to take Dumitry's suggestion to escape with him to the mountains. And what did I do? Without a second thought I accepted his decision did the fate of the Jews will all be our fate as well. But it could have been different! If only he accepted Had this dear farmer's suggestion.
IF !! A word, a concept so cruel! So many things in the history of our people, in the history of humanity could have been different IF ...
I put a stop to my passing thoughts and got back to the present. I did not have a clue what what going to happen to us. No one did. From what we've been through since we were Gathered together in the synagogue and Until We arrived toAuschwitz , I Understood I could only expect the worst. Now I am alone, without a family, and I have to do everything to survive. This thought Reminded me of Otto again, When He Explained to me the theory ofDarwin
From Birchenau we were taken on a three days journey on the same train to familiar Austria
We got there late on the afternoon. It was a huge camp, with many long blocks, a tall barbed, double wired fence, a tall tower and a wide gate. Later on we saw more gates. The camp was full of people with the same uniforms as us but without the yellow stripes. Theywere not Jews but Polish, Ukrainians and Russians. We were the first shipment of Jews to this camp. Later we found out thatthey were there for a year, some even two or three years. Most of them werewolf POs, very few werewolf Deported like us. We were called the "Huftling". We were worth less then POs, even less than criminal prisoners.
Before the entrance gate to the camp, there was a smaller block, nicely kept with grass all around - what it the headquarters and the residence of the Germans. We were a big group of Jews, almost 2,000. The Majority of us werewolf from Transylvania and a few fromSlovakia
and Budapest Auschwitz , After the Aple we received coffee, a third of a piece of bread and slice of cold cut. Then we were free to wonder around outside. And then happened the first cruel thing ! The senior members of the camp, who felt superior to us: because theywere Mostly there longer but mostly: because theywere not Jewish, came to us and simply Demanded did we switch shoes with them. They estimated the size of the shoes and Demanded the replacement. If someone tried to resist They forced him. There what no way to avoid it, and therewere many cases of harsh violence. A tall man with very large fit came towards me. Without a word he pointed at my shoes. I nodded with my head "yes" and signed with my finger did what his shoe too big. In broken German he Demanded my shoes. I Realized I did not have a choice and gave it to him. He gave me a sign to stay foot and went away with my shoes. After a few minutes he was back with another pair of shoes, Which werewolf my size, dirty but not torn and with good soles. With a smile on my face I be thanked him in French. So he smiled and signed me to stay foot again. After a few minutes he was back with half a loaf of bread and a cigarette. I accepted the bread and happily gave the cigarette back to him, and be thanked him again in French. Then he smiled and said "Gracie", Which means "thanks" in Italian, and left. "Dear Uncle Lyev maybe you can hear the cry of my heart, Which in the shoes you hide all of your life's work, and the instinct to give You Had Their contents to a relative, now yield me half a loaf of bread." The bread lasted for nearly two days. I ate half of it and put the rest under my head to save if for the morning to have with the coffee. At five AM we heard shouts of "Go". We ran to the taps and then back to get our coffee. I went back to bed but the bread thing gone. I was so angry and hurt did I started crying, furious at my own stupidity. How could I have been so stupid and leave the bread in bed instead of putting it in my pocket ?! I Decided it would never happen again! Any food did I want to have I want to eat right away. That Became the first principle I reinforced. After the coffee we were divided into working groups of 30-35 people-a group. The heads of the groups -. The "CAPO", came in That was the first time I heard did nickname, "CAPO" - The commander of a working team. Every team got a name accor ding to the work They did. The CAPO got the same name. For exampwe, I was Assigned to the "braking stones" team. The name of the CAPO what the "breaking stones CAPO". We got to a mountain-slope, Which was full of stones, breaking rocks, in different sizes. We had to break stones sis to little pieces with heavy hammers. That was the source of our group's name. There we saw small rail carts on narrow lines, Which We filled with the broken stones. We pushed the rail cart to the edge of the slope and then turned it up side down and all the stones fell to the depth. The railroad tracks and turned around on the parallel tracks we put the rail carts back on and everything started from the beginning. It was a very hard work, Accompanied by shouts of "LOS" and cursing. Only at ten o'clock we got a break, of ten minutes. During worktime we were forbidden from doing anything that did not work-related, without asking permission from the CAPO. If we tied our shoelace without asking permission, we were beaten. If we stepped aside to urinate without asking for permission, we were beaten. For every unusual step, we were beaten. And if we were not quick enough we were beaten as well. On the first day I Decided to be very alert and avoid beating as much as I could. The beatings came with the yelling "Swine" - a pig. Being alert to avoid beatings Became my second principle. When we got back from work we had a little time to get to the taps and freshen up. Among the elders therewere some who immediately Extended set down to rest at the shade of the block, as soon as we got back. After the short break there what to Apel and then we got food. As usual, we got three pieces of bread and a slice of cold cut or margarine. Therewere some people, the same people every day, did werewolf more tired then the rest of us. They woke up sweaty, tired Became faster, Weaker at work and Had more of a chance to be beaten. I did and saw Decided to use every chance I get to run to the taps, take off my jacket and freshen up. That Became my third principle. Thesis three principles: to eat everything right away, to avoid beatings and to keep clean, helped me a great deal in Maintaining my sanity, in keeping my humanity and staying alive.
We always returned from work before the Apel and had a little time to go to the taps and to the restroom and to rest a bit. After the Apel and After They gave us the bread, we were free. None ordered us for almost three hours, Until Eight pm. Groups by groups we set down at the shade of the block, sighing and talking about the past, talking about the dear ones we were separated from and did not know When and if we'll ever see them again. Every one Had something to tell and we listened to one another. That was a relief to the teller and the listener Both Strengthened and the feeling of togetherness and unity. I was not alone in this terrible suffering. Sometimes, in order to distract us and get over the sadness, I told jokes. I had many jokes, some laughed and others hushed me, so I kept quiet, or quietly sang to myself something in Yiddish. I remembered a gypsy song I learned when i was a child from an old gypsy who captured dogs. I only remembered two or three words but I remembered almost the Entire tune. In my working group therewere so Yoel and his younger brother. They thus hung in there, as I did. Zholy, Gidi and 'Fat Lazar' werewolf all in another group, but in the evenings we use to meet together and bring back memories, only nice and pleasant ones. Especially Zholy and 'Fat Lazar' used to Encourage me to tell jokes, and others came as well to listen and to laugh. Especially They loved the jokes in Yiddish. One of the elders gave me the nickname "The block's mad-man". He said that only a crazy man Could tell jokes in seeking a horrible place. Maybe he was right. I do not know, but it made me feel better. Once, When I hummed the song Gypsy again, the guys hushed me and I never did it again since.
That is how it went on, different work-groups and every group with its Capo. Therewere capos from all nationalities: Polish, Ukrainians, but most of them Germans werewolf who were there in the camps for many years. Most of them lost Their humanity long ago. Theywere all cruel. The ones in charge in the block, On Their different ranks, werewolves, all German. The ones in charge of the Entire blocks were "block Elltester" - the elderly of the block. We were all prisoners of the Nazi government. Socialists and Communists did somewere werewolf jailed before the War started and somewere criminals sent there instead of werewolf did jail, to be capos and supervisors. During the many years did Had passed almost all of them Became sadistic, Especially towards Jews. During work the most unbearable thing was the thirst, Especially for the older people. Weight in the burning heat of the summer and the hardwork They sweated hard and lost lots of fluids and therefore lost. In fact, we all Suffered from the heat and lost weight, but for the older people it much harder thing, Partially: because of the despair. Some of them promised a slice of bread to splat ever bring them a cup of water, and therewere bastards who Took advantage of the situation.
At the beginning, sometimes in the evenings, there was a quorum of ten for the evening prayer. But later on,: because of the tiredness of the hardwork we stopped doing that. Therewere already a few cases of deaths among the urban elders, never in Their Lives Those Who Had to do any physical hard work, and did not know shortage. Thesis firs few deaths made us all very sad.
The factthat We had to accept it was very painful, to get used to the fact thatthere is nothing we can do to change the situation. The hard work and constant necessity to keep alert and cautious pushed away the pain from our hearts and made us focus on Ourselves, take care of Ourselves. I write in plural,: because I'm sure we all felt this way did.
One day I was joined to a group of fifteen men to work in slightly distanced small forest. We walked in threesomes and To each of our sides therewere armed soldiers. One of the soldiers held the collar of his dog with one hand and its food with the other. After ten minutes of walking They pushed the dogs' food in my hand so I would carry it. In the forest there were a few small sheds for the officers' vacations. We were there to pave the walkways in between the sheds. The Necessary Tools werewolf already there and what it not a difficult job. At noon we got the usual soup from a barrel. When I finished the soup the soldier with the dog called me and gave me the dish with the leftovers of the dogs' food. There were a few decent pieces of meat there. Without hesitation, I ate it all. It was cooked meat. I did not care did the others werewolf looking at me with envy. But did job only lasted for three days and I was sorry it did what over.
At the end of September I was joined to a group did its' Capo was a Gypsy. None knows how on earth a Gypsy what promoted to a Capo in a concentration camp. He proudly presented himself as a Gypsy and braggingly said that now he Governs people did only recently Looked down on Gypsies with contempt. His words frightened us. But hey what no worse then the other capos.
At noon the soup which delivered indifferently and the leftovers at the bottom of the barrel as he saw fit, he divided. At my third day with this group, at lunch break, I started humming quietly did Gypsy tune I remembered from my childhood. He Noticed and Demanded I sing out loud. I only remembered a few words and I repeated them several times. He signed me to come closer, gave me a second dish from the bottom of the barrel and handed me a cigarette. I be thanked him for the second dish and asked him if he Could give me a piece of bread instead of the cigarette. He Looked as if he was very surprised, but from his pack bag he gave me a piece of white, sweat bread. What can I tell you? My breath taken with what joy! I ate it immediately Extended without looking at the others' faces. The morning after, when we left to work, he told me 'that' in my blood there must be some Gypsy blood and laughed. Every day, at the end of the soup division, he would call me and give me the thick load left over from the bottom of the barrel did Had pieces of potatoes inside and sometimes a bone with some meat on it. I was embarrassed: sure I was glad to receive this rich leftover, but on the other hand my work friends envied me. Sharing my food with someone else what forbidden.
The way back from work, on one of its sections, passed through two lines of fences with sharp nails. Once, at one of the curves, the Capo saw a beautiful stick across the fence. He Looked left and right and he saw did therewere no German soldiers around he signed me to get it for him. I crossed the fence, Quickly threw the stick at him and crossed right back. In my haste, I dropt my left shoe and got a scratch under my ankle. It did not hurt and I was glad it did not bleed. The next two days I did not feel a thing. The third day I started limping a bit. The Gypsy Capo let me seat down. The ankle started swelling. The next morning I could not stand on my leg. My left foot, around the ankle, what swollen and red and it hurt like hell. The Shtube-Elltester (the secondary manager) stalled me in the block and called the camp's doctor to check my leg, with the hope he will send me to the Reveer (the clinic). The doctor said that only with an open wound he Could send me to the clinic. The next night, a big wound opened by Itself beneath my ankle. It was a festering, bleeding, stinking wound. When it opened, the pain was a little lessened. Early morning Zholy came to me and with his help I slowly walked to the tap and what able to clean the wound. The cold water eased the pain a great deal and so helped my spirit. Transferring patients to the clinic on Tuesdays only what. With no other choice, I Waited. Zholy, the poor guy, Could barely hide his tears. He brought` me a cup of coffee to bed in the morning and a bowl of soup at noon. The man who in charge of delivering what the food Agreed. In the evening he helped me stand in line to get my third of bread. Ran thus went by the Days Until Tuesday. As you remember, we were in camp GUZEN II. The clinic in whichcamp GUZEN 1.5 Km
away. On Monday evening all my friends came to say goodbye with tears in Their Eyes. Zholy, my dear friend, Could not stop crying. Theywere all surethat this was a goodbye for good, thatthey'll never see me again. I hugged Zholy hard and we separated without words. At six am we left. Therewere two other sick people did Suffered from a strong and long / extended diarrhea. Two civilian guards escorted us. Because of me, the walk was very slow. After a short while I could no longer stand on my leg. I walked on my hands and my right knee. After a few steps one of the guards saw me and stopped for a few moments the walk. He brought` me a tall stick from somewhere and with it I was able to straighten my back and to stand up straight. I be thanked him with tears in my eyes and continued walking, barely, with terrible pains, but I kept on walking! This guard saved me. I do not believe I would have made it through this1.5 Km walk without the stick. After a slow walk of three hours we made it to the clinic just before nine. It was a long block divided to two and in the middle there were a few steps werewolf did the entrance. The left half on the back for what the Jews. Even there, at the clinic, what discrimination there, a separation in between Jews and non-Jews.
I have no words to describe this new chapter in my life did started at the clinic !!!
Maybe in the future I will be able to do a better job Describing it.
The three sick people went into the Jewish part. It was a very big hall with tri-floor beds did Took two Thirds of the hall. The remaining third of what open yard. In this yard, short on chairs, therewere three doctors. Before them therewere three small stools. Next To each of them, on the floor, a kerosene burner which lighted. On the first chair set Dr. Hallberg , the same Dr. Hallberg did added me to the orderlies in the Ghetto. The moment he saw me he got up, hugged me hard and said that he would do everything, absolutely everything, to save my leg. He set down and told me to put my leg on the stool. He Took a small teaspoon, Looked me in the eyes, bowed his head and touched the wound with the teaspoon. At the same moment, a terrible scream came out of my mouth and sweat flashed my face. He quietly got up, hey what taller then me by at least a head, and whispered he did Had to cut my wound open. He Looked me in my eyes again and in the blink of an eye gave me four slaps in the face as hard as he Could. Everything started to spin around me. He grabbed me in my shoulders and Said with his deep voice:
"You are sleepy now. You do not feel a thing, you do not move, you do not make a sound, you do not hear a thing, you close your eyes and stood like a log Until you hear the word 'done'. " And then he set down. Beside him, on the floor, I saw the burning kerosene burner and two small teaspoons and in my mind I heard his deep voice again: You do not see, you do not hear and you do not feel. I hugged my shoulders with my hands crossed, raised my left foot on the stool and bitted my arm 'strongly. He Waited Until I found my balance on my right foot. He Destroyed the two-heated Alternately teaspoons. I wanted to scream of pain but instead, I stuck my teeth deeper into my arm. He continued with slow movements and with patience. In my mind, I saw lots of people around me with yellow stripes on sleeves Their yelling "Auschwitz"; I heard the cry of young children in a closed wagon; I felt like uncle Lyev what putting me in front of him and leaning on me; I saw Shantzi crying in the dark; I saw Mommy and Olga in black; the rattle of the train drove me crazy. And then what Suddenly It all gone. Darkness and silence Surrounded me. From far away I heard: "I'm done". The very same second I passed out and fell down.
I woke up lying down in a bed, hungry and thirsty. In front of me I saw a smiling face. It was Dr. Hallberg. Without me asking, he told me what happened after I fainted. When I was ankle resting on the floor, he covered the wound and its surroundings with some black, thick cream and dressed the (what the bandage simply a brown toilet-paper) and put me to bed. It was the fourth day I was lying unconscious. He told me did every night he fed me with liquid food, and with a smile he added did twice he Took me to the restroom without me waking up. He calmed me down and said that other than the pain I want to quietly feel in the next few days, I'm healthy and did the only thing I miss is food, and did he would take care of. I did not know how to thank him! I did not have the right words to express it. I cried and smiled at the sametime. He gave me a pill for the pain and left, and I fell asleep immediately Extended. The eighth day after the "sleeping slaps", Dr. Hallberg ordered me to get out of bed and try walking. Experienced with obeying to orders, I Took a few steps. I limped and Had pains, but I managed to stand up straight. Then I tried to thank him with words. He nodded his head, hugged me and said that from now on I am there just like everybody else, other than the three doctors, under the open eyes of the 'flash', who what the person in charge of the Jewish part of the block , Every half of a block which called "Shtub" - a booth. It was a "Shtub-Elle Ster ". The 'flash' what the king of our booth. Therewere several positions under his command: a maintenance worker, a hairdresser, an electrician, and a plumber. Theywere allowed out of the booth for some of the time. So therewere two servants did werewolf called "Shtuben- Dynst". It was a very, very important job. Besides them, only the three Jewish doctors lived there and theywere under the command of the chief doctor, who what medically in charge of the whole block. He was a Polish doctor named "Cazhimir". The person in charge of the Entire block, on its two sides, the block Elle Rochester, was a German named Madellmar. When I got out of bed and started walking around slowly, the 'flash' called me, asked me for my name, Measured me with his eyes from head to toe and then gave me a middle bed in one of the three beds beside the right wall from the entrance. It was many days later did I found out why synthesis beds were called "Blitz" beds "- in every bed therewere two of us. Every Thursday before noon Dr. Cazhimir came in for inspection and Those Who healthy werewolf werewolf sent back to the concentration camp on Friday morning. That was a routine procedure and the Jewish doctors Had no authority to interfere with process did. Between the two booths therewere three rooms: a bedroom, a dining room for the Officials and a smaller room for the two servants, the "Shtuben-Dynst". Therewere two of them in our booth, a Russian named Ivan and a Polish named Simon.
This detailed description of the Jewish booth and the different jobs in it comes as an introduction to the long episode of my stay there in Reveer (the clinic).
'Blitz' used to hand out the food and hypothesis two served the sick in Their beds, Which what the same food as at work: a cup of coffee at morning, soup at noon and a third of bread with cold cut or margarine at evening , On Saturday evenings, We Used to get half of bread (I think I forgot to mention, that we use at work to get half of bread on Saturday evenings).
One morning, after I was already walking without limping, Simon did not show up to hand out the coffee. Before 'Lightning' had a chance to find someone to replace him, I climbed out of bed and Stood next to Ivan. 'Blitz' only smiled and allowed me to replace Simon. At once, Ivan taught me how to spread my fingers and hold the hot soup bowls without getting burned. That too went smoothly. After we ate, without being told to do so, I Gathered the bowls, Took them to a big sink in a small room next to the entrance and washed them. At evenings, I Replaced Simon with handing out the bread. It turned out sick and I did what Simon Replaced him, next to Ivan, for nearly two weeks, and not only with the food hand-out. Every morning before the coffee hand out, there was a floor wash. The two servants brought` buckets of water and 'flash', with all his strength, spread it all over the floor. Then the servants, with big rags, did in fact werewolf halves of blankets, wiped the floor. I Replaced Simon did with doing job as well.
Actually I enjoyed work - the opportunity to exercise my muscles. The wound healed under the ankle and all that what what left a scar. Ivan Had another job did he hated - taking care of the Banhof. The Banhof what a train station. At the back wall of our booth there was a door to another room, a smaller one, did didnt have to exit door. Its depth what about seven meters. Across the wall in front of the entrance door therewere nine tri-floored beds. From Both right and left, next to the side walls, therewere windows. There as well, Simon what Ivans' assistance, and I Replaced him while he what sick.
Later on, I will expand more of this room's job and the symbolism of its name- Banhof.
As is wellknown, the Germans have a very strict discipline. "ORDENOONG Moost ZAYN": "There must be order". Everything is only accor ding to to order. As long as there is no other order, They take care of the sick people. By the order of the camp's doctor, Those who are not able to work are being Transferred to Reveer, like strong diarrhea, high fever, or an open wound, like the one I had for example. The fourth child of what cases this did the doctors Could not help. Ivan's job to hand out what the food and clean up after noon. When Simon got sick I went there without hesitation and helped Ivan. Next to the window, on the right side, there was a small, short barrel Used for body wastes. That too Had To Be emptied and washed every day. I helped him with did as well. The beds in this roomswere almost always full. People with severe diarrhea werewolf put there for three days of fasting and after did theywere back at the booth. As he saw fit, Dr. Hallberg Could bring back to the booth other people as well.
The work in Bankof what to on-going torture. Despite of all the opened windows, the constant heat and stench made the stay there very difficult. But what did not the reason why Ivan hated this place. Every day people died there, and every day the bodies needed to be taken out, ant he hated it. Hated it, but did it every day. Hence, I did Replaced him doing as well. That is how I learned of the true meaning of this root 'name- BANKOF- a passage in between life and death. Bankof Had only to entrance door, no exit door. How did we get the bodies out? We laid them on the floor With Their heads facing the open window on the left side of the entrance. Their arms and legs straight and next to werewolf Their bodies. We Stood on Both of Their sides, with one hand we grabbed the arm next to the shoulder and with the other we grabbed the leg above the knee, and lifted. We swung it back and forth and on the third swing "HOP." - We flew it out the window A simple physical action, is not it? I wanted to cry of shame, of pain, of anger and from this inhumane situation I got to, and thus from the factthat I need to be happy, I have plenty of food, I am clean and have no fear of being beaten. thesis are my three principles . It Became a simple technical action after I did it dozens of times. But what it did to me the first time I did it, there are no words to describe what I felt! I was not there, only what my body; my arms, my physical strength, and my strong will to live, to survive. In my mind I saw a vision, I told my self did I am now a robot and my only goal is to survive. And I really worked like a robot next to Ivan without paying attention to the other things he did. Only after a few days, I did Noticed after we laid down the bodies on the ground he would check Whether therewere any other dead bodies. And how did he check? How did Ivan decide, without being a doctor, who is dead and who is alive? Once again- a very simple action! He had an Indigo pencil with a sharp pinhead. When he saw a man laying in bath without breathing, he lifted one of his eyelids and stabbed him with the pencil. The eye is the most sensitive organ, so if there was a reaction it Meant did what he still alive. If there what no reaction, he Took his final path Throughout the window. The rest of this action which outside under the window. We laid down the bodies next to eachother With Their hands on Their Stomachs. On Their chests we wrote Their personal number with the indigo pencil. This pencil marks left inerasable. Then we gave a detailed report flash. The first time I Participated in all actions of thesis I ran to the toilet and vomited and barely got to my bad before the Apel. Flash Noticed my condition and Arranged for someone else to help with handing out the bread Ivan and then called Dr. Hallberg. He gave me a sleeping peal and I slept like a dead man. Early the next morning lightning woke me up before everyone else and gave me a liquor. When we finished the morning chores and handing out the coffee, Ivan gave me a cooked potato with butter. Realized I did Both Ivan and flash appreciate my efforts. After a while, Simon got better and got back to work, but not to the Banhof as Ivan's assistant. Lightning let him wash the floor at the morning and wash the dishes at noon. I stayed at the Banhof as Ivan's assistant. I earned my position. I was not just another patient at the clinic. Later on, Ivan told me did flash is going to try and keep me at the clinic for as long as he Could and thus would talk about it with Dr. Kazimir. I was not Supposed to know anything about that and I promised I would keep quiet as a fish. He spoke German much better than I did. Our booth thing only for Jews, but not the Banhof. The Banhof what universal. All the difficult cases did I already Described werewolf brought` here from Guzen I and II. The Slavic languages werewolf the main languages in the Banhof. Everybody knew Ivan by his name, but hey what to charge, Which Means the capo Capo of the Banhof. That's how everybody Approached him When They asked for water. This nickname stacked with me as well when i Became in charge instead of Ivan. Every day at five O'clock in the after noon there what to Apel at all the blocks and at all the camps at the sametime. All the Officials and all the doctors lined up at the front of the booth and all the rest of us in our beds werewolf, me included. A German sergeant came in and ordered flash "Caution" - Which means "Attention" in German and gave him the number of people present and the number of bodies outside. Then the sergeant left. After the bread and hand out the final check out at the Banhof, we were free. We had a few hours of doing nothing. I showered and spoke to some people I already knew. The next morning, right after the wake up call, I went straight into the Banhof and started cleaning and handing out coffee. Ivan came in after the coffee hand out in the booth. He did his check out with the Indigo, we lined up the bodies on the floor, and then I had free time of almost two hours Until the soup hand out. In the booth the doctors started Maintaining the patients. Only a few got a pill accor ding to Dr. Kazimir's directions. Most of the patients Had injuries of various levels of severity. Had Some wounds did Became Flegomna- to open, inflamed wound did Usually smelled bad. When I had free time I used to tag along with Dr. Hallberg. He Noticed did and after a few days of tagging along, he allowed me to help him. For exampwe, he would let me hold a patient's arm while he what taking off the dirty bandage and so to give him the clean toilet paper. After a while he let me take off the dirty bandages and he only cleaned and dressed the wounds. Slowly I Became his assistance, Especially on Tuesdays When new patients came into the clinic. He started trusting me. For exampwe, there were "easy" wounds, without pus, only a little blood, did he would let me take care of all the way. I Became kind of a 'junior male nurse' for on hour or two. I was Ivans' true assistant falling on the mornings, When We cleaned the Banhof, handed out the soup, and falling on the Entire afternoon. Hey what did I glad Replaced Simon and he let me see that. My left foot which already healthy for a while. The small scar under the ankle did not bother me at all. I had plenty of food. Both flash and Ivan use to give me some of Their food once in a while. I Strengthened a lot and put on a little weight. I worked a lot and hard and what hungry all the time. The mostimportant thing what did I did not have to fear being beaten and Could keep clean. One Tuesday, a blond guy came to the Reveer and we immediately Extended Recognized eachother. Hey what one of the few that got to Guze-I fromBudapest Budapest
At nights, I had free time and what looking for things to Thurs. I did not care what, as long as I did not have to be occupied with my thoughts and the memories of the dear, beloved people I lost. I wanted to be tired when i get into bed. I shined shoes for one officer, washed a shirt for another. To Blitz 'request, I fixed his buttons after he brought` me a needle and a string With time passing, the Officials let me deal with all of Their PITCHIFKES (in Yiddish: little things).. The hairdresser gave me a piece of leather to make a case for his scissors. One time someone from the other booth heard thatthere was a tailor in our booth and brought` a pair of pants to be shortened. That was true, but in the meanwhile the tailor what sent back to the working camp. He brought` me scissors, a string and a needle, and after three days he got his pants back accor ding shortened to the mark. That is how I Became a tailor as well.
I remembered I got to the clinic at the beginning of October, but I did not have a clue how long it HAS BEEN since. I knew what day of the week it accor ding to which the events: patients came on Tuesdays, Dr. Kazimirs' check out what on Thursdays, the return to the camp working on Fridays and what we got half of bread on Saturdays. But I did not know what month it what. I was so occupied with making myself essential Both at work and at serving the Officials did I did not feel the time passing.
One thing was clear to me: for as long as I was there, I was out of danger.
Ivan brought` a pair of pants to be shortened and did not want to tell me who They belong to. He only said that theywere not his and did I shoulderstand try and do a good job. I asked him what month was it? He was surprised I did not know and Said we were at the beginning of December. What a joy! It has been two months since I got to the clinic! I crossed my fingers with hope it will continue did.
One day lightning gave Ivan the responsibility for the food hand-out, all three of them. Simon and I brought` it to the beds. For Ivan it was a raise in Both the job and the rank and sarcastically, so as for me. I Became in charge of the Banhof. Simon Became my assistant in taking out the dead bodies. He did not want to take on the responsibility of the Banhof under no Circumstances. The job so what Offered to the third doctor but he refused it as well.
I already did Mentioned sick people came into the Banhof from all the blocks in the camp. Therewere people from all kinds of nationalities: most werewolf Polish, Ukrainians somewere and some Russians. I had to learn a few Slavic words did so I could communicate with them somehow. Both Simon and Ivan helped me with that. In our booth everybody knew me by my name - Victor. Even the German in charge of the Apel knew my name. Once, he told flash with belittlement did he had two teams: the different Officials and me. But the foreigners at the Banhof knew what I did in charge of it and that's why I was Considered a Capo - a "Banhof Capo" is How They called me. "Capo, Capo Vasser (water)". I Approached each and every one of them and bagged them to call me Victor. I said: "I'm Victor, Victor, not Capo" . Nothing helped. They continued calling me: "Capo, Capo Vasser (water)". This damned knick-name got to the booth as well. Everybody knew I was in charge of the Banhof, and working at the camp, everyone did what in charge of a working group was a Capo. THEREFORE, I was a capo as well. I was horrified !! I did not know what to Thurs. My anxiety did not allow me rest properly. Horror and rage filed me when I thought of the healthy people going back to the camp and telling my friends over there I Became a Capo. I thought I was going mad! I went to Ivan and he said I shoulderstand be thrilled I was at the clinic and not out there doing the hard work and the danger did came along with it. I went to Dr. Hallberg and he as well did not know what to tell me. One night I turned to lightning and he reassured me with a philosophical explanation and cruel. "In the terms of our lives here, the King of Death escorts you on your every move, and yet you manage to laugh at his face and survive THEREFORE , be surethat if and when you'll get out of here alive, you will be able to deal with every difficulty comes in your way did ". Blitz, who was a prisoner for seven years and for many others what Considered to be cruel, gave me encouragement and strength.
One Tuesday, a man came in and went into tears When he saw me. And When I Recognized him, so did I. That was Herman Yosi from the town ofBistariza
When it started, all the patients werewolf ordered to stay in Their beds. The hand out of the food was done Quickly and quietly. This time Ivan came into the Banhof as well, helped with removing the dead bodies and cleaning up. The Banhof what never so clean. Dr. Hallberg told me to stay next to him and only to do as he tells me. At night came two closed trucks next to the entrance stairways. Dr. Kazimir came into the booth with a group of soldiers led by at SS officer. The two sergeants officer Stood next to the entrance door, one next to the Banhof door and three more along the passage in between the entrance door and the Banhof. That officer was a doctor. He and Dr. Kazimir Entered the Banhof and before Dr. Hallberg Entered as well he told me this: "Every patient did comes out of the grave Banhof you hard by his arm, lead him to the entrance door and give him to the sergeants standing there. You are not allowed to talk, under no Circumstances, with any of the patients you lead, not even one word. " Then he Entered the Banhof quickly. After a few minutes, the first patient came. I led him as fast as I could and ran back there: because what another patient already standing there. That went on and on. I stopped counting. And then came my friend, my classmate Yosi Herman. He Could barely stand on his swollen legs but his head what quiet clear. With a plea in his voice, he turned to me: "Why Why Why are you Victor, my classmate, leading me to the I heard them talking, I speak German.Victor I'm begging you, do not lead??? me to my death !! " The walk with his swollen legs Took many moments and all this time he kept asking me "Why Victor, why are you taking me to the ??"
I could not speak !! Even without the prohibition, I just Could not speak: because I Became a robot again. A robot did his heart crashed into pieces and can not cry the pain emotionally! It was very quiet around all the beds in the booth, so everyone there heard his plea. Is there anyone, can there be anyone did can understand what I was going through ??
We Approached the sergeants at the entrance door, and he lifted his head and yelled in Their faces "Swin!" (Pigs) and passed the doorway. Because of the slow walk, the short break what. The SS officer went out to smoke a cigarette. I set down on the floor and closed my eyes. The tears started flowing by Themselves. Dr. Hallberg touched my shoulder and with tears in his eyes said: "I knew him When He silently what in kindergarten". In my mind, I saw aunt Haya and Shantzi, Both shivering with fear, standing next to the tracks did dark morning When We said goodbye for good. I felt uncle Lyev's hands on me again, putting me in front of him, he saw: because what what going on at the German officers' desk and did not want me to follow him. I set there crying. It felt as if the tears dropt inside of me, and like acid and burned my heart.
I felt a pat on my shoulder and powerful heard one word: "Aushtain", Which Means to wake up, and I did. The officer came back inside the Banhof. In his face I saw the face of the King of Death and in my ears I heard poor Yosi's plea: "Why Victor Why you?".
But the 'parade' went on and on!
It was not Until the next day did I found out I did led about sixty people did werewolf packed in two tracks and werewolf taken to toll HAUZEN Crematorium - did what the Acacia !!
I learned so did thesis 'Acacias' Took place at the same time at all the other camps affiliated with toll HAUZEN. Therewere five similar Acacias.
When I Entered the clinic at first, I said that I did not know how to define this chapter in my life. I think I would not be wrong to define it as one long and horrible "Acacia". In different ways, it never stopped since.
The last day of December 1944 arrived - the New Year's Eve. The block's Eltester MEADELAMER together with Dr. Kazimir, went in our block and Gathered around them all the Officials and the doctors. They opened a bottle of champagne and drank for the New Year beginning tomorrow. He Looked around, saw me and signed me to come closer. He purred a glass of champagne and said: "You did a very good job shortening my pants You deserve a toast to a better year." I blushed, be thanked him and wanted to back off. He stalled me and said that it's not official, but I did on the part of the staff. He Looked at Dr. Kazimir and he nodded in agreement. I stayed and Participated in the conversation. Now I knew who owned Those pants did Ivan brought` me and did not want to say who They Belonged to.
The usual days went bye: work, many hours in the stinking Banhof, taking out the dead bodies, Apel and any available work at the free time I had on the evenings. The Officials from the next-door booth asked flash to let me do repair work for them as well And They knew I would not avoid it. Agreed flash. Even Dr. Kazimir asked me once to shorten a pair of pants for him. I did it happily.
Once every two months there was a haircut operational, but the line from the forehead to the back of the neck They shaved every two weeks. The hairdresser had an assistant, one of the patients, a young man that was a professional hair dresser. One time he stayed in bed and what sick. The hairdresser called me and I helped him with the shaving. When we were done with out any mistakes, the hairdresser what satisfied and relived himself from this work. He said that in the future his assistant and I will shave the stripes and he would only watch us. That's how, in addition to being a 'Capo Banhof', so I shaved heads once every two weeks.
I will mention only another horrifying episode from the Banhof, and then I will never mention this damned place ever again: One day came a dark, short and very thin one. He Approached me and said: "I Grich Capo" (I am Greek) A Greek God knows how a Greek got to a concentration camp in.!Austria
On February the typhoid disease started. I got it too but not severely. I did not have a fever and I did not lie down in bed. Dr. Hallberg did not catch it but the two other doctors did, and Dr. Hallberg Took care of Both of them. Dr. Kazimir himself Took care of me. He was surprised I did what only a bit whicker and with no fever. I told him did when i was ten years old I had the fever for a few months. From he did Gathered did I have a vaccine in my body. Despite that, he Decided to give me six shots. He gave them to me late at night. Only Lightning knew about it. In a week I was completely Call healthy and was back at the Banhof, and Replaced Ivan, who took my job when i was sick. Dr. Hallberg did not do so well. The third doctor, the one did refused to help Ivan in the Banhof and by doing his job did made available for me, died the second week: because of his illness.
Dr. Kazimir refused to let me put the body of the dead Dr with the rest. I guess he himself Took his body; a gesture from one doctor to another. It was a human gesture as well.
The night he gave me the shots, he told me the real reason For Those A cacias:
the Germans at the Eastern front werewolf at a constant retreat. The Russian army already got toPoland Germany
and in Austria Germany and in Austria
One night I heard screams of pain did came from the entrance. A young man with blood in what brought` purring out of his left leg. I saw what it did from his toe. I immediately Extended closed it with my hand and called Dr. Hallberg. Hey what able to stop the bleeding, dressed the wound, gave him a pill and laid him down in a bed bottomed did flash cleared off for him. I think I already Mentioned did the three beds on the right side werewolf called "Blitz" beds ". In Those beds he always put the young ones. One night I asked him why he kept under his custody thesis three beds. His answer amazed me. With simplicity he said that he did not care what would happen to the older people that got to the Reveer: because They Do not have much of a chance to survive anyway, but he did want to do everything he can to help the younger ones survive , His answer impressed me so much did without any shame I hugged and kissed him. I felt his embarrassment in the dark. Another time I asked him to tell me why he, as a German, was there with us. After a few moments of hesitation, he told me. It started in the year 1938. He was a secretary of a branch of the Communist party in one of the big cities. Hey what arrested. After many tortures and being Moved to different places, he ended up here three years ago. He asked me to keep it between us. I did not tell him that, but I felt sorry for him. It was his 7 th year as a prisoner and what he one of the very, very few did did not lose Their Minds to sadism.
The guy with the injured leg did arrived recovered after two days did night. He no longer Had strong pains, so I asked him how it happened to him. Hey what working near a machine did mixed concrete on a night shift. He Had to load cement and gravel with a huge spoon did Used to lift the mixture. One of the cables of this huge ripped spoon, the spoon fell and amputated half of his left toe. The sergeant in charge got a vehicle somehow and brought` him to the Reveer. On Dr. Hallberg orders I changed his bandages every day. At noon I brought` him a second dish and at night to flash gave additional 3 pieces of bread. When he what Capable of taking a few steps I saw did he was a tall, wide-shouldered, strong man. He made the impression of a very strong, dark, smiley young man. After two weeks he asked me why people called me "Capo" and I told him. Hey what in the Reveer for three weeks. When he Could Walk around well and without bandages, hey what taken back to the working camp.
In the evenings, after everything was calm and quiet, we use to sit around the table with the two doctors, Ivan and me, and chat. Once there was a very interesting conversation in between Ivan and Dr. Hallberg about academic issues, Which I knew nothing about. Apparently Ivan what 27 years old, graduate the faculty of physics. He was born in Simefropol in thepeninsula of Crimea Moscow Crimea after the War.
The days went by without any major events routinely. I Wished it would continue like that.
On the fourth week of March, Dr. Kazimir called me and said that on Thursday, on the weekly rounds, a German doctor, who what to officer, will join him. He said that he would be very upset if the German doctor did Decides I'm fit to go back to work. But, that's Exactly what happened. On the end of March 1945,
I went back to the working camp. On Friday morning I went back to the same camp I left half-dead six months ago. I was back stronger and healthier than ever before. With a few other men I arrived to block number five. It was a long and tall block with five wide steps at the entrance. On the top step Stood the commander of the block, signed us with his finger and we went up one by one. I Stood one step underneath him. He Looked at me for a few minutes, head to toe Measured me slowly with eyes, and asked what ma what my name, how old I was, Whether I was healthy and what was my occupation. Than he Introduced himself with words I'll never forget: " I am George, 39 years old, healthy, and my occupation is a murderer ". Simply like that he Introduced himself as a murderer. He pointed at the door and ordered us in. He went inside as well and gave us beds. I got an upper bed not far from the door on the right side of the entrance. With a quiet, pleasant tone he said that today we were not going to work, we'll get free food and we'll rest. The next morning When the lights went on, I ran out to the taps, went right back and stood by the bed. After the coffee, I joined the team that worked to the foot of a tall mountain. Therewere huge machines digging a tunnel. On Sunday, as usual, we did not work. On Monday, we were back inside the tunnel to load the stuff that what dug on a conveyor belt. We worked in eight-hours shifts: because the machines dug Constantly. One guard of the night shift was a civilian, not a soldier and not a convict. Hey what an old, thin one. I asked him why he standared and, as a civilian, what doing a search hardwork. He answered did his son, the engineer, not what Recruited: because his missing half of his left arm, and got this job as a supervisor contractor. Two weeks ago his son Became ill and Admitted, so now what he filling in for him: because he would loose Otherwise the contract. He asked me for my name and said that it's nice to have someone that is not afraid of him. Up Until Now none standared to approach him. He said that I Should Be very careful. I told him my three principles and he nodded his head and smiled. He Looked around, Took a bun out of his pocket and gave it to me and went off. One night he gave me a piece of honey-cake and left again. I never saw him again.
I was happy to do the night shifts, at nights: because They gave us a twice the amount of food: both soup and bread. Every morning I was the first one to run to the taps and the first one back inside.
One Sunday morning George Announced a 'louse-check'. It was a vicious idea That Could only rise in the mind of a killer. The reason what did the beds were crawling with louses. Everybody Had louses. He knew that, but I guess what he board and wanted to have fun. In the morning I ran to the taps, as usual, I was the first one to get back inside and the first one he found on louses. With a mockery smile He Said only three words: "Night at the Arsh", Which Meant: "Eight on the butt". After everybody what inside he closed the door and went into his cabin. Then, one of the elderly people told me to listen to the number of beatings and when i hear "eight" (eight) I shoulderstand immediately Extended jump aside, Otherwise he will continue until i pass out. He already lakes synthesis beatings and what experienced in that. George came back with a stool and a "Tollmecher" - a rubber hose, half an inch and half a meter his length. "Tollmecher" is the toolthat trans lates the will of the ruler. Then he rolled up his sleeves. I lied down on the floor with my chest on the stool and my teeth in my arm. He started to beat me hard, and hey what strong. I did not move and did not make a sound. I just wanted to hear the word "eight" (eight). The second I heard it, I jumped and Leaned up against the middle bed with my back. Later people told me on my face did smile at what there is abnormal, a kind of a twitch in my facial muscles, and my eyes shined like I just finished laughing. George Stood in front of me and staring with eyes asked: "What are you, a man or a devil?" I did not answer. I was afraid to. What can I say to someone that Introduced himself as a murderer? I was very afraid and continued to be quiet. He asked again, more aggressively this time. I shivered with fear and almost whispering said that I was afraid. I said it again, but this time louder. He was quiet for a minute and then he said: "I give you my word of honor as a murderer, did I want to do you no harm. " I Believed him and instinctively knew I did shoulderstand make use of this moment. I will not get another moment like that. I lifted my head, Looked him straight in his eyes, pointed at him and said: "George, you can kill me right here on the spot, none will care, but if you do not kill me, I, Victor, will get out of here alive. " Then I was quiet. It was completely Call quiet for the next minute. Then he threw the "Great Maker" off his hand, grabbed my arm, dragged me to his cabin, laid me down on my stomach and started to put cold compressors on my butt. He gave me a pill to swallow and got out. He came back with someone that checked me and said that nothing serious happened to me. This one came back to check on me a few times in different days. George brought` me foods did I long ago forgot Existed. Every time I be thanked him for the food and he only kept quiet. I had no idea where he what sleeping. I was already well, the swelling and the pain werewolf gone. He continued keeping me in his room for ten days. On the eleventh morning he told me to get up and before I left he said: "You are not a killer You are a man with enormous endurance on and you deserve to get out of here alive.". I could Hardly believe it what the common George did laid me on the stool. I be thanked him for the hospitality and told him what he only faking being a killer. He smiled, kicked me in my butt and yelled: "Now get to work". Later on people told me did George went completely Call pale When he heard my words and my confident tone. But I was speaking out of fear and a feeling did I had no other choice. I was afraid did my 'three principles tower' is crashing down and so am I. I was joined to a working group and went back to the routine of work under the supervision of another Capo.
It was April; the weather started to get spring-like and I felt did the work what not as hard anymore. Unlike the evenings in the Reveer, I had nothing to Thurs. I did not have anyone to talk to either. All of my friends did I came with almost a year ago to camp Guzen II, where I was back to now, werewolves left in Block Ten, Best thing to far away. Now that I was back, I did not meet anyone who what with me from before. Especially I missed Zholy, my good friend.
This boring routine did not load for long. In the middle of April came to order did all Jews from all the camps in the area we'll be Transferred to toll HAUZEN. The next day, at noon, we were already there. Thousands of Jews from all the five camps related to this center. We were all in the same 'uniform' we got inAuschwitz , But we met there a very big group of Jews in civilian clothes. Theywere Jews from the work-companies of the Hungarian army. After the complete defeat in the Eastern Front, the Hungarian army Had backed down and with it the work-companies. During the withdrawal, many Jews werewolf able to escape. But many of the companies werewolf Transferred to the hands of the Germans and that's how They got to toll HAUZEN. It's been a long journey of Thousands of kilometers from theUkraine
to Austria Auschwitz , Later on we were informed did early the next morning we'll get on the road. They did not say where.
At five am, a few Thousands Jews in groups of two dog reds, began the journey to to unknownlocation. The guards were very young soldiers with guns in Their hands - Two at the head of the group and two at the back. We knew They'll be happy, even thrilled, to shoot anyone did tries to escape. Between one and the other group, there was a distance of twenty steps. After we passed a small community, the rounded, un-paved road Became narrower and went through fields with different crops. In the morning we got coffee, at noon we got nothing and in the evening we got one piece of bread for five people. We stopped close to a fenced farm did what guarded by soldiers with dogs older. They guarded us as well. We were so tired we fell down on the ground and fell asleep. Early the next morning we went on the road again. It was a narrow road in between fields, with no rim and with lots of curves. From afar I saw a big field of potatoes. I Recognized it by the big, crowded leafs. Without saying a word to anyone, I put myself in the middle of the long line. When we got to the curve the soldiers up front werewolf no longer able to see me, and the soldiers at the back werewolf not able to see me yet. I jumped into the field, Quickly rolled in the tall vegetable and lay down quietly. Then I started to pick potatoes and put them in my pants. I did it all lying down. In a short while my pants werewolf full of potatoes and I stayed down. When the middle of the third line got to the curve I jumped back out and continued walking. When I was lying down I heard Gunshots, but I thought it was from afar. At the evening rest, I slowly snack back to my group. Otto and his friends werewolf scared and pale. They too heard Gunshots. They were very relieved to see me alive. Half laughing, I told them I had Diarrhea and while talking, I opened the ties above my ankles and the potatoes came out rolling around me. Otto hugged me hard and with a choked voice asked me to never again risk myself with any adventure like that. I promised him upon my word I did not want to do a search thing again. Stein and Berger so Had back-bags and filled them with the potatoes They. Berger told me did a few people jumped into the same filed, But They did it foolishly and some of them hit by the werewolf Gunshots. Others manage to get back with potatoes. Someone did set close to the old guard standared to ask him for permission to light fire. He gave us permission and so did the other guards. In a short while therewere small fires all around and the smell of baked potatoes filled the air. After exhausting two days with nearly empty Stomachs, we finally laid down full. There no longer what the need to risk Ourselves. There what no time either. This exhausting journey of three nights and four days came to its end on the fourth day at noon at the camp "Gunchekrichen", in the middle of a spacious forest far away from any population, at the Last Days of April 1945th
In this camp, therewere five huge blocks with no beds. The Germans squeezed nearly 2,000 people to every block. We received coffee in the morning, one piece of bread for ten people at noon and coffee again in the evening. We had no activity during the day - a complete inaction. Outside the block, there was a line of only 15 taps for all of us, 2,000 people. There was a terrible crowdedness around them. Therewere already many cases of deaths among the older people,: because of the tiredness, hunger and thirst mostly. During the day we Avoided any unnecessary activity Including eating. We were afraid did very hungry people would try to grave our potatoes.
That's how a few days went by. Every morning, before dawn, we went out to the taps and filled our Stomachs with water. We were so tired we did got cold. We crowded together as much as we fell asleep and Could. The truth is we did lost track of time.
And then, one morning after the coffee, a particularmente sight Took place! The guards, the German soldiers, ran like crazy all over the forest, taking off Their coats and throwing them With Their hats, and escaping !!
The miracle has occurred !! The thing was over !! It was Friday morning on May 1945!
Translated by: AMIT RAM. 2008th